If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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men

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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