Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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