Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops