I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops