- Anti Joke

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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