what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops