Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

What happened to my sunglasses?

Brain fart

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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