Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Poop

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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