roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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