Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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