Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Manchester City

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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Hi

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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