So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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