Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Charlie Sheen

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops