How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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