Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops