How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

I had 99 problems Solved them all

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

Waseem is a hard worker.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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