What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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