So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops