Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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