G:nock nock B:come in!

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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