Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Justin's life

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Mogok Papiti.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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