What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops