Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Hi.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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