An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is orange? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops