Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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k

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Women's Rights

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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LOL

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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