Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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