How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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