-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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360 NO SCOPE

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops