Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops