A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Once upon a time, The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops