Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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