What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops