A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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Your life

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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