How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Religion.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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kkkk

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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