What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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( . Y . )

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops