What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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