What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

A American seeking into mexico

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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