A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Take part of what?

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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