- Anti Joke

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

Who's Micheal Jackson?

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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