Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops