What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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69

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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