What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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