Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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Phew... it's gone.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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9/11 my birthday

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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