What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Ebola

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops