What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

haha

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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