Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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