What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

Justin with a hat.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

A blind man walks into a wall.

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...