what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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