Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops