Death by kayak

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Your adopted

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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