What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops