Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops