Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

Ham sandwich

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

I <3 Hitler

what you get time to go with? - a clock

Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

dat shoe shine tho

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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