Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops