A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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