Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

25

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops