I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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