A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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NEVER

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Skrillex.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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