What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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The WPGA tour

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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